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It was Mom who was my guide...



I've had a longing for Florida since Mom and Dad passed away. I decided to call Joanie Greenwood. She used to visit her parents at Indian Spring over the winter the same time I did. We reminisced and talked and we decided we'll go to the 3 G's when I come down. Her parents loved it and so did mine. A traditional Jewish deli.


While talking with Joanie memories bubbled up in relief. These were warm and vivid, so much so I was feeling transported back in time, experiencing the past washing over and enlivening me.

 

The morning after I arrived, eager to enter the warmth and beauty, I rode Dad's bike from the lanai, following the trail down to the club, around the golf course and up through several of the community neighborhoods. I saw egrets resting along the way. They stood tall, pure white and regal. A sure sign I was indeed in the tropics.


I returned ready for a swim. Mom opened the linen closet to give me beach towels for the pool. "Here, take two. You can put one on the chez lounge." She walked with me across Fairway Park to the pool's entrance. As she opened the door for us, I walked into heaven.


She introduced me to the red and pink hibiscus flowers spreading across the fence that surrounded the pool. Along the far edge, next to the hottub I noticed a purple and pink orchid showing off its vibrant colors. As we turned to choose a spot, Mom offered, "Pick any chez lounge you want." And that's when I felt as though the world was my oyster. The sun sparkled above the water. It glistened on the surface as well, expanded and multiplied lighting up everything beneath. All of nature was celebrating life. The sun, the water, the flowers. Mom brought me over to her friends and introduced me. Mothers are so excited to see daughters. "Oh, so when did you get in? How long are you here for? How was your fight?" they queried. Even yesterday's flight felt exciting.


With all our difficulties I wasn't able at the time to receive the full weight of the enchantment and the magic. I was still encumbered by the shrill darkness and rage inside her that had penetrated deep inside me over the years growing up. Now I am able to see, in the sunshine state, Mom was leading me away from the darkness into the joy and exquisiteness of the childrens' laughter emanating from the shallow end of the pool. Along with the gentle ocean breeze, she escorted me to abandoned playfulness in the sun drenched water.


It was Mom who was my guide, bringing me to joy and exuberance. It was she who beckoned me to the flowering of my heart.


How about that!


Out of the darkness into the light!


NajdaMaria

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